Betty: You can start pitying yourself and then you’ll be stuck down there going into depression. It’s not worth it.
AM: I’m not in self-pity today.
Betty: Yeah, you’re closer to the arrogance. Because that’s what you see in X. That’s your unowned hook. It’s unowned in X. It’s not intentional. Keep going. Do the work. I can’t do it for you. I keep seeing this Pharisee saying, “I thank You God that I am not like the rest of men.” Then he goes on and judges the Publican like crazy. So, let Jesus come into the synagogue inside you and look at your character whose profusely, arrogantly proclaiming you’re not like X. Look into the eyes of Jesus. Tell him the way you’re not like X.
AM: I wish it was the case, but it’s not.
Betty: Now, there will be a part looking for somebody to throw the blame into. But don’t fall into the trap. Sure, Y was like that. But it doesn’t give you an excuse. I hear this part saying, “But Y was like that.” And Jesus is shaking his head. It’s like, “Look, Y is not here confessing, so I can’t change him unless he confesses. Are you willing to confess?” Stay with your stuff. Don’t say, ”Z had hidden arrogance. She never really claimed her own arrogance.” No. Stay with your own stuff. Now, I hear, “It came down the generations.” I can feel this part of you looking for every excuse to get out of the fact of being responsible for its own arrogance. When it comes down to it, whatever in us that is not what God created us to be has got to go. We don’t get anywhere by searching for somebody in our ancestry to blame. Genesis started out that way. Adam and Eve made the decision and then the next pages are filled with them busy blaming everybody else for the decision they made. “It was the woman who gave me the apple. It was the serpent…” No. Until you can do like the old negro spiritual, “It’s me. It’s me Oh, Lord, standing in the need of prayer. It’s me. It’s me Oh Lord standing in the need of prayer. Not my brother or my sister, but it’s me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer…” I always loved that, because it’s standing in integrity. So, stand before him. And everything you’ve always hated, I don’t care who it was in, look at it and say, “Lord, is that in me? And if it is, help me keep the door open so that you can clean out the lie I bought and fill that area with yourself.” All the Lord needs is the humble admission. Then he’s free to help you. Now, clearly just say what you need from the Lord. Talk to him directly.
AM: “Lord, I really want to have a heart of mercy…”
Betty: Okay and he showed you how to do that when he said, “Give me your will that I might live through you.” So, in other words, you’re looking at all this artificial, deceitful stuff, this gameplay we learned to try to save ourselves. And basically, by opening new doors and showing yourself what you have done, you’re asking the Lord to clean that out, so that who he is might come through you to others. Now, who he is merciful and kind. He speaks truth and only does truth. That’s what you want. What you want is union with God’s will, so that he is manifested in you. The arrogant self is trying to protect itself and pretend as though it is the God that I just described. And it’s not. So, that’s the old man that has to die. It’s the pretender. Paul talks about that. He says, “I have this part of me that will not do what God is asking it to do.” It’s the old man. It’s the pretender. It’s the arrogant self. And that was created when Adam and Eve wanted to have their own free will, not God coming thru them. They didn’t quite understand the alternative was to choose the ways of God and then they would have union with God, which really was God’s plan. Instead, they created this false self. That’s what I see. That’s kind of my philosophy.
I feel inner healing is obedience to the inner truth within usin which we allow who God is in us to come to be. Jesus Christ alone is the Savior, the Healer, and Redeemer. But we get in between, and we create a Pseudo Savior, a false self. And that Pseudo Savior has to go. So, the illusion of the perfect self, the illusion of the pseudo savior, all that is waiting to be owned, repented of, and given over. So, what remains is the authentic self that’s surrendered and yielded. I think that is the core of the gift of the Divine Will. Because while he calls it a gift, it’s what Adam and Eve gave away coming back. They gave away the authentic self. Satan gladly took it, so he could make himself manifest thru our judgmentalism and arrogance. I mean who are we being like? We are being like Satan, not like God. So, when I look at the Perfectionist, I see Satan’s hold on me. It’s the same thing with the Pseudo Savior. And I gotta get back to that negro spiritual, “It’s me, it’s me Oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer…”
AM: And that gets you into a place of the humble, contrite, obedient heart.
Betty: There is where God can save us, redeem us and set us free.
Stand before God. Everything you’ve always hated in another, look at it and say, “Lord, is that in me? And if it is, help me keep the door open so that you can clean out the lie I bought and fill that area with yourself.” All the Lord needs is the humble admission. Then he’s free to help you. Now, clearly just say what you need from the Lord. Talk to him directly.