Below is a spiritual direction session I had with my Aunt Betty years ago when we were praying about someone who hated me. Thankfully, the relationship has now been healed.

AM: “Lord, please help me repent of that judgment I have on her.” 

Betty: “Only you, Lord, know her heart.” So, give back to the Lord the judgments that are His. You let go of them. You’re not God, so let go. I know that might come as a shock that you’re not God. Okay. That ain’t the role. Ask the Lord to set your spirit free to have His heart of love for X. Anywhere that maybe Satan put in your heart that you have to protect yourself from her by disliking her as much as she dislikes you, any kind of craziness. Ask the Lord if Satan has been able to implant stuff in your heart. Ask to be aware of any judgments that he’s helped you implant out of which you say, “This is why she’s doing this or whatever.” We’ve got to watch that, because Satan knows full well the Scripture, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2) In other words, that which we judge another for, the Lord has to visit it on us to help us get free. So, Satan’s got this ballgame going in which if he can trick you into falling into his judgmental nature, then you get walloped by God who is really trying to help you stop the judgments. Satan is kind of like a mean little kid getting his brothers and sisters in trouble. 

“Lord, anywhere we have been tricked into ‘thanking God that we are not like the rest of men,’ help us rather face who we are in Your sight and seek Your mercy. Bend my stubborn heart and will, Oh Lord… “ In the Old Testament, the psalmist cried out to get out of his stubborn place of judgment and hatred. He cried out to the Lord to melt his stubborn heart and will. Basically, he was in a stuck place, like you’re in a stuck place, and X is in a stuck place. And Satan is the only one that’s enjoying that ball game. 

So, during Advent, can you pray, “Lord, help us get out of this stuck place.” Could this be in the generations a thing that has been passed down and you are falling into the hole? Can you ask the Lord to help you get out of that generational fixation of handling things with hatred instead of with love?  “Lord, wherever it entered into the family, whether it’s in our century or centuries past, if people are in Purgatory crying out for your help to pray that they be released from this determination to handle things with hate rather than with love, please heal it. Because I imagine we’re stuck in Purgatory, until we can learn to forgive and love and not hate and resent. And for some of us, it’s been a long generational training ground to handle things that way with judgment and hate. “Come Lord Jesus, make a difference here. Get us out of this place.” 

If you find yourself in a similar place, you could pray, “Lord, anywhere I have been tricked into ‘thanking God that I’m not like the rest of men,’ help me rather face who I am in Your sight and seek Your mercy. Bend my stubborn heart and will, Oh Lord… “

Betty: “Only you, Lord, know her heart.” So, give back to the Lord the judgments that are His. You let go of them. You’re not God, so let go. I know that might come as a shock that you’re not God. Okay. That ain’t the role. Ask the Lord to set your spirit free to have His heart of love for X. Anywhere that maybe Satan put in your heart that you have to protect yourself from her by disliking her as much as she dislikes you, any kind of craziness. Ask the Lord if Satan has been able to implant stuff in your heart. Ask to be aware of any judgments that he’s helped you implant out of which you say, “This is why she’s doing this or whatever.” We’ve got to watch that, because Satan knows full well the Scripture, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2) In other words, that which we judge another for, the Lord has to visit it on us to help us get free. So, Satan’s got this ballgame going in which if he can trick you into falling into his judgmental nature, then you get walloped by God who is really trying to help you stop the judgments. Satan is kind of like a mean little kid getting his brothers and sisters in trouble. 

“Lord, anywhere we have been tricked into ‘thanking God that we are not like the rest of men,’ help us rather face who we are in Your sight and seek Your mercy. Bend my stubborn heart and will, Oh Lord… “ In the Old Testament, the psalmist cried out to get out of his stubborn place of judgment and hatred. He cried out to the Lord to melt his stubborn heart and will. Basically, he was in a stuck place, like you’re in a stuck place, and X is in a stuck place. And Satan is the only one that’s enjoying that ball game. 

So, during Advent, can you pray, “Lord, help us get out of this stuck place.” Could this be in the generations a thing that has been passed down and you are falling into the hole? Can you ask the Lord to help you get out of that generational fixation of handling things with hatred instead of with love?  “Lord, wherever it entered into the family, whether it’s in our century or centuries past, if people are in Purgatory crying out for your help to pray that they be released from this determination to handle things with hate rather than with love, please heal it. Because I imagine we’re stuck in Purgatory, until we can learn to forgive and love and not hate and resent. And for some of us, it’s been a long generational training ground to handle things that way with judgment and hate. “Come Lord Jesus, make a difference here. Get us out of this place.” 

If you find yourself in a similar place, you could pray, “Lord, anywhere I have been tricked into ‘thanking God that I’m not like the rest of men,’ help me rather face who I am in Your sight and seek Your mercy. Bend my stubborn heart and will, Oh Lord… “