AM: Kids can act out what’s going on in the family and get super depressed.

Betty: Yeah, the kids are bearing the brunt of wherever their parents are sitting in deceit. 

AM: Is that because the parents are judging them? Or because, in the kids’ loyalty, they are acting out what the parents aren’t owning?

Betty: Probably both, because kids are often very loyal to their parents. It’s not conscious. We call that the unconscious need for loyalty.

AM:  For some kids, it manifests in depression. It’s not resentment or anger or whatever the parents are pushing down. The kids just go into depression. 

Betty: And the parents are often in depression, too. Because they’ve got it all shoved out there portioned for various people to take the blame, shame and guilt. And these people are not taking it. Because for one, they know it’s not true. So, I think that brings frustration and anger and depression on the person who wants you to take their result from their stuff. And you’re not feeling guilty.

AM: But sometimes it works for them and you do take it.

Betty: Yeah. But then they stay stuck. Would you call that working? I wouldn’t. Because they’re stuck. They might get consolation. In that regard, I guess they think it’s working. But consolation is not a solution.