WE WERE GIVEN A WILL SO THAT WE MIGHT LEARN TO DIE TO IT

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AM: How come I still keep feeling sliced inside by the borderline person who blasted me?

Betty: Take it to the Lord. Because the thing they taught us about borderlines is that they have an uncanny ability to hook into your weakest point. That’s part of that sickness. They pick up your most vulnerable point, and then widdle, widdle, widdle like a carver will take a knife. That’s the kind of the thing that’s going on. So, you need to go to the Lord and say, “Okay Lord, I got caught here. I need your help. Ask Him to help you work through whatever area she managed to get her little hooks into. As that gets healed, then you will not feel as much pain. But there’s still a really sore spot there. Once you get healed, the funny thing is, they often give up. Because unconsciously, they seem to know it’s not bothering people. There are very few people who know how to work with them. It’s hard to find somebody who can pray correctly without getting cut up. 

AM: I should have handled it differently with her.

Betty: Hold that up to the Lord. What you need is courage. It’s hard to say, “You blew it.” Because God could be using it to bring about something that is good for her. In order for people to be healed, different, unique things have to happen for each one. For her to be healed, it’s almost like she needed to walk this path. But, you need to let go and accept it. “Okay God, I see you working through this. I praise You and I adore you. Lord, help me not to insist on staying hooked into it. But let me accept the healing that I know you want to give me. Help me not get hooked. and start demanding that certain things happen for me to receive healing.” Go into tongues, and see what’s going on. Can you see that it’s the less noble part of yourself that’s fussing? 

AM: When you’re stirring the pot, it may be that God allows you to get smacked in the meantime. 

Betty: Well, it’s hard to be the pot they’re stirring. Because you begin to look like the problem. And it’s a little tiresome to always be seen as the problem when you’re really trying to do good. Jesus Christ came, and he was the scapegoat, so that we might get free. Look at your life. Do you have it so bad? No. So, it’s a little self-pity. 

We want life to be about me, me, me, me. And yet, what we are learning studying the Divine Will is we were given a will, so that we might learn to die to it. That doesn’t sound like fun. Really, who thought that one up? God’s plan is so far beyond our understanding. So, we say, “Lord, I don’t understand what’s going on. I feel like I’m a scapegoat for everybody. I’m starting to feel really sorry for myself. I’m sure I stink to high Heaven, because self-pity stinks. I’m really sorry. Please Lord, I hope you can fumigate the place while I talk to You. I’m into self-pity, and I don’t know how to get out of it. You suffered so much for us, and I didn’t hear you belly aching. Although there was a time you said, ‘Father, why have you abandoned me?’ You probably were picking up on us, because that’s the way we feel. We feel abandoned if we don’t get our way. We bellyache to you to the high Heavens. So, thanks for suffering, dying, and putting up with our stuff. I know you’re above all this. Can you help me, so I can get above it? I’m stuck here feeling sorry for myself. But it’s Lent of all things, Lord. This is downright embarrassing. I look and see you on the cross. I see how they put nails thru your hands. And you just hung in there, and took it, because you love us. Lord, I am sorry I’m such a belly-acher. Lord, honest I don’t think I’ll change, unless you work a miracle. Really make a change in me. You’re my only hope. Help me.”

See, that’s what I do at times like this. I just go and lay it where it is. Then He deals with it, and He helps me out. 

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