Below in red is my Aunt Betty’s words to me during a difficult trial in my life:

Get out of the “if only” game.  God wants you to grow in faith and hope.  We need to have grateful hearts.  There’s a lot of growth as we go into these difficult places of being purified.  We have to let go of our will, and enjoy the journey.  Through the challenges, we become more mature and surrendered.  That doesn’t happen when we aren’t challenged.  Suffering helps us a great deal.  Long suffering is that through which the spirit graces us to handle the journey of life.  The expectation is that these things won’t happen is part of our suffering. Sometimes things happen because Jesus loves us.  Image yourself immediately handing over your negative thoughts.  More light comes around you when you pray in tongues. Satan can’t get a hold.  Image that which disturbs you going into the hands of Jesus.  It’s important for you to know how to handle these things.

Sadness is a letting go, not a rebellion.  “Not my will, but Thine be done”.  When you feel the pain, it can help you let go.  When you identify with the pain, then it’s a problem.  Feel the pain, but then let it go.  The Lord is calling you to grow.  He may give you something better.  Letting go strengthens you for the next experience.

Don’t give your peace away.  People can create their own suffering.  God has to have a better plan in mind.  God who is all-powerful is allowing it, so He must have a better plan for us.  It’ll require more trust.

Unite your will with His will.  When you get anxious thoughts, put them in Jesus’ hands.  “Sacred Heart of Jesus I place my trust in You.”  Let it become a prayer of reliance on God.  Your feelings are given more importance than they have in the light of Eternity.  “Lord, I give you these feelings.”

Tell yourself that God has a better plan.  If He wanted you to have X, He would protect it.  Put yourself in Jesus’ arms.  Has not Jesus been faithful to you?  The problem is our lack of faith.  “Increase my faith, Lord.”  Learn how to handle it in a way that’ll draw you closer.  Often when people the Lord has been good to go through tough times, Satan tries to get them to believe God doesn’t care.

We have to trust Him instead of looking at the bad side of it.  Our brains aren’t big enough to handle God’s plan. We have to humble ourselves and trust that He only brings about that which is to our good.  Keep asking the Lord not to let you miss the good.  Satan wants you to focus on how terrible it is. The Lord is asking you to trust Him to show you the good He’s brought out of this.

For me, when I have a physical pain or negative feelings, I don’t deny they are there.  Instead, I say, “Lord, I still have these negative thoughts. Please help me.”