A couple years ago, I had a serious ankle injury that took me off my feet for a while. I’d like to say I handled it with great faith, but instead, at least initially, I complained and went into anger towards myself for letting it happen. Below is my conversation with my Aunt Betty. My words are in blue and hers are in red.
AM: I’m angry with myself. I’m in pain, and despair is coming up.
Betty: Well you can choose to handle it with despair. You’ll just have to suffer more that’s all. There’s a part of me that wonders if you enjoy it? If you don’t like to suffer, then I say to you, “Honey bunch, then don’t go that way, because you’re going into it. What are some ways? Forgiveness is essential to most healing that I know, so when you choose not to forgive, you’re choosing to suffer more. But if that’s what you want to do, it’s your choice.
AM: That might be why I’m not getting healed. It’s because I’m not forgiving.
Betty: That’s the way your inner kid tends to go. Now, can you get in your adult and pray with Jesus. Take authority when you get enough suffering? Think about it. Do you really want to suffer more? You’re stuck. You have to get out of the stuck place. You’re going to continue to bring more suffering on yourself. Do you really want that? Our attitude toward pain does make a big difference in how much we suffer.
AM: I’m not good at it.
Betty: I think that’s where the Lord needs to help you be good at it. Does the little kid believe that the more you fuss about it and complain, the less pain you’re going to have? Why spend time and energy on something, if it’s not going to do any good? My thought is those that develop a healthy attitude toward pain do better than those who complain. The ones who complain are the ones who suffer the most. But, we have to let everyone have their own choice. Everyone has free will. I just hate seeing you suffering unnecessarily.