I wrote this excerpt over a year ago. I told my Aunt Betty, “I am still having trouble with discouragement. I’m still having trouble with your whole thing about not looking into what to do about my foot injury, because I read something that said the things that I have been doing to help were actually hurting the nerves.” Her response to me is in red below.
Okay, realize you’re back into your fixation on that which leads to nowhere. It just tortures you. I don’t know. You seem to want to keep going back into torturing yourself, because that which you just expressed to me is nothing, but pure torture. You keep asking the same question, where you’re standing there beating your head up against the cement wall over and over. If you’d see somebody else do that, you would go to them and say, “Why do you keep injuring your head up against that cement wall?” But, it’s like you keep doing it. You keep standing there beating your head up against that cement wall asking that same question that has no answers. And yeah, I understand. You keep doing it because it gives you a good bout of depression. It’s like, “Okay I can’t figure this one out. She wants to be depressed.” Right? That’s the part in you that is going to keep taking you back there and beating your head senselessly against the wall. I don’t understand why. Come on lady. Let’s move on.
Once you reach a conclusion, and you don’t understand why, okay, drop it. Let it go. Let’s go someplace else, and do something that is helpful. Don’t keep asking the same darn question of yourself. Why? Why? Why? That would drive me nuts. Is it driving you nuts? Don’t go there then. Once you hear the question and the question has no answer, then you drop it. That’s it. Then pray, “Lord help me to be aware where I’m stuck there.” You throw it to the cross. That’s where it belongs. It’s a useless question. That part of you just wants to make yourself miserable. That’s all. It is slightly sadistic in your compulsive need to keep pounding your head against a cement wall. Your voice seems to get life, when you go into that place. It’s weird. It’s like I’m just trying to figure out why. It’s like, “Hey, can you see that leads to nowhere? Why are you there again? It’s a useless question. You say, “I know”, but I don’t think you’re convinced, because you keep going back there. Can you say, “Lord, please, I really need a miracle to get out of this stuck place. I act as though my insistence is going to bring about a solution which is really crazy. Can you see why I say it’s crazy? Because it doesn’t bring about a solution. It just makes you more miserable. People’s lack of belief lies behind their oft repeated whys…
Instead of insisting God justify and explain Himself with the often arrogant “Why,” have you tried believing Rms 8:28 and with acceptance saying, “Lord, please help me not miss the good that you intend to come out of this?” Try it. You might find yourself in a much better place.
Is there any trial in your life where you need to stop saying “why,” and instead turn to Romans 8:28 and say, “Lord, please help me not miss the good that you intend to come out of this?”