Lately, I’ve had to make some tough decisions and confront some things. That’s not a comfortable place for me to be. In red, are my Aunt Betty’s words to me:
Be very, very careful that your need to punish yourself doesn’t take you out of reality. It could be that by your confronting the situation, you’re doing a lot of those people a favor, because the pot needed to be stirred. So again, just watch your accuser. I can see the hand of God operating in this whole thing, so be careful with your need to punish yourself. Don’t let Satan do that to you. Just keep saying, “No.” You have to be really careful. I see a certain part of you has entered the Divine Will, but there’s a part of you that your controller won’t let go there. Look at things like this when she doesn’t really grasp what she’s committing herself to. Because if you really were committed to living in the Divine Will, you would look at this whole thing and say, “Okay, I tried to do my best.” You prayed about your decision and so on. So, God is in this. But you go looking back at how you handled this situation and start beating yourself up for not doing it better. When you do that, you don’t stay in the Divine Will. You jump out, and you go into your controller and your controller, who is always ready and willing to beat you up, takes that opportunity to have her fun. So now, you’re out of the Divine Will. You’re not seeing that, “Wait a minute. I prayed and God permitted this. So, this is in His Divine plan. Fiat!”
But you jump out, go over into your Controller and beat yourself up. You try to figure out how to control it. See, you got to get more dedicated, more committed to living in the Divine Will. You can’t keep jumping out to seek what you see is good in your controller, and let her take over. You’ve got to close that door. Stop it. Instead, if you’re really in the Divine Will, you look at it and say, “Okay Lord, teach me the good you brought out of this.” You don’t give yourself permission to keep jumping back and forth. I wouldn’t call you a helicopter mom. I would call you a parachuter. When you find something that you don’t like, you want to jump out of the Divine Will and go control the situation the way you think it ought to be. Your controller is not nice to you. Your controller makes a lot of messes, so just stop going there. Lock the door. Stay in the Divine Will.
I think you have to be really careful if you’re going to be in the Divine Will, because the mistakes you’re making are when you get in that controller and into the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” I think the “what if” and “if only” in you are the controller. “Lord, help Annemarie to recognize when she opens the door to parachute out. Help her to recognize every time she does that and doesn’t see Your will operating. Help her see when she enters into that unbelief and goes back to the old controlling ways. Help her see that when she’s got the door open, she’s on the way out of the Divine Will. “
Are you parachuting out of God’s will into your controller? It’s best to place ourselves firmly on the Rock, which is Christ.