The below excerpt is from a spiritual direction session I had with my Aunt Betty years ago:
We may be doing the very thing that we accuse others of doing. That which we despise in others is in us. We need to first remove the hooks that are in us. The Lord doesn’t deal with the person who is not in prayer, but with the one who prays. “Have mercy on me Lord.”
We have to release others from judgment. God knows why they are the way they are. Image yourself taking all your judgments off that person and taking them to the foot of the cross and telling Jesus, “I’m out of place in my judging, but I need for X to be enlightened. I also need to let go of my judgments.”
Fast from negative judgments on others. Say, “Lord, I give this to you. Help me not to judge negatively, but to trust you to find a solution.” Let it be Jesus’ problem so we can treat them with respect, but also give them awareness of what they need to change.
As long as we’ve not forgiven, we suffer a bondage to that person. We are bonded into them through our unforgiveness. It makes us become more like them. If we didn’t have a negative resentment, we wouldn’t have judgment on the person.