Below is a conversation I had with my Aunt Betty last year. Her words to me are in red:

Stop judging, and intercede that the other person can open wide, and receive the truth that God wants. Fast from negative judgments, or the enemy will do his work. The negative judgments will keep the person closed. Instead, unite with God’s will and pray HIs will be done. Judgments are self-will. We are stopping the action of grace when we are busy making negative judgments, because we are separating from the Will of God to do our own will. We need to go into repentance, and unite with Jesus’ will.

One Lent, I heard the Lord tell me to fast from negative judgments on Sister X.  She used to really annoy me.  I prayed for her and saw the Lord’s light coming into her and me. I said, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”  By the end of Lent, I felt love for Sister X.  The sister came up to me after Lent and said, “You love me Betty.”  The Lord had changed my heart.  I couldn’t have changed my heart if I was still judging Sister X.

How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Luke 6:42)