Last December, I was lamenting to Aunt Betty about a person who I felt was badmouthing me to one of our mutual friends. I felt angry and betrayed. I started judging the person for judging me. Below is Betty’s response to me. I put an “X” and a “Y” to keep them anonymous. I’ll never know what was shared between them, but it didn’t negatively affect my friendship. I’ve since tried to be more accepting of my weaknesses, which is helpful because it gives people who gossip less ammunition against me if I’m not trying to appear perfect. Here is Betty’s email to me:

Look at the above judgments on X and ask the Lord where the hooks are in you that create the need to judge X.  Remember, “no one can get my goat unless I have a goat to get”… I search for my goat and let the Lord deal with the rest of them. I urge you to do the same and put a warm, caring distance between you and Y if, as you believe, Y is truly being swayed by X’s narrative. But don’t jump into the ring and try to justify yourself.

Call me after you get everybody to bed tonight and let me know if your adult can hear what I am saying. You are being given an early Christmas gift -an opportunity to grow spiritually. I urge you to graciously accept it and return to peace and learning to live in His Will, which always beats the Circus.