Betty: X needs to face those areas where she’s mean. Say to her, “X, that felt mean. Did you mean it that way?” Because that’s the way people stop going in to their defense mechanisms. Experts say we need to stop and deal with what is happening. As you do that, you’re going to help her. It’s really a very loving thing to do. 

AM: I hate that I have to be the one to confront her. 

Betty: That’s because you’re the least threatening to her. It’d be easier for her if you do it, then for her to feel people pulling away from her. That’s really hurtful. Even if she doesn’t know what’s going on, deep down she does. Deep down, people get defensive. Because they pick up something’s going on, and unconsciously they’re trying to protect themselves. I notice you confront your own family for their sake. You keep trying to stay in reality which causes them to grow.  

AM: I really hate being the one to have to do it. 

Betty: You’re being true to who you are. You’re staying in your authenticity. It’s your call. It’s your duty. You can tell Y that you’re not doing X a favor by not telling her. Both of you can see how the family’s reacting. So, the call of love is, “Lord, help me to do this in a gentle, loving way.”

You pick up where she’s not being her authentic self. If she were in her true self, it would enhance what she’s doing. Because I think God moves more powerfully the more we’re in the authentic self. “So Lord, we want your glory here. We want your Divine Will to be known and understood. So, we’re asking that whatever is holding us back from being authentic, that you, in your mercy, will help that to dissolve in your truth. We ask that whatever is causing the blockage between us be exposed as we come before you and try to look at our inauthenticity wherever it is. Help us to get out of these defensive mechanisms, and stay in truth, so that you can heal and set us free. For you said, ‘You shall learn the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ (John 8:32)  So, we’re praying for that today, but not just for us.  As we hold up all that’s happening, we lift up the whole family that’s been held back by this. We hold up this fear of being annihilated and of our needs not being met, and the various defensive mechanisms that we go into. Lord, the only way to freedom is through truth, So, help us have the courage to stand in truth.” 

I think it’s beyond us. The fear of annihilation and not getting our needs met is in our ancestors. Sometimes, in the course of people trying to avoid being annihilated, they annihilate others. They can’t look at it, because their defense mechanisms won’t let them see it.

Is there anything holding you back from being authentic? Hold up all that’s happening and pray, “Lord, the only way to freedom is through truth, So, help me have the courage to stand in truth.”