A trick the Perfectionist plays is to go into self-condemnation to avoid taking responsibility. It’s the “Oh, whoa is me” game. Nobody said you can’t do anything right. They just said, “Here are a few things you’re doing wrong.” That’s all. Tell yourself, “I don’t need depression to avoid responsibility.” Because that’s what your Perfectionist will do, when you get to a point where the Lord is calling you to take responsibility for a certain thing. It’s much easier for her to give over to depression than admitting she’s arrogant and wrong. God forbid.
When you’re tempted to depression, it’d be a good thing to say to yourself, “Oh stop it. I don’t need depression. I’ll just face whatever comes up.” Stop hiding it. X would go into this when confronted with a fault. He would say, “I try so hard, and I can’t seem to do anything right.” It’s a way of protecting yourself. Oh, the games we people play. In one way or another, we all do it. We don’t do it in the same way, but I think we all try to avoid responsibility if we can. “Lord, continue to help us face these areas, where we try to talk ourselves out of giving up the lies, so as to avoid taking responsibility. Lord, help us to be more aware of the games we’re caught in.”
Part of the reason you suffer so much from that is because the Perfectionistic part is pure arrogance. It’s the part that beats you up when you don’t measure up. She’s lacking in mercy. I suspect that part of her is where the demonic hangs out, because she’s so cruel. So, you don’t want that part to come out on your children or others. Because that is not your best feature. Ask the Lord to keep healing that, so you and your whole family get free from it.
Don’t go into the black and white thinking. Rather go into the, “Oh my gosh, I’m feeling this arrogant part of myself, so I have to go into prayer, rather than self-pity.” That part of you can go into extremes rather than let you face what needs to be faced. That’s Satan’s way of stopping you from growing. That’s why you want to say, “Cut the melodrama. Let’s just deal with this.”
When clients go there, get suspicious. Say, “What are they trying to avoid?” They are trying to avoid responsibility in some way. It’s their Perfectionist trying to avoid seeing that in one area, they did hurt their children. The distraction is, “Oh, I ruined their entire life.” When they go into the melodrama, they are trying to distract off where they have to be responsible. Don’t deal with their entire life. Just deal with this part right now. You’ll have people try to do that to you. They say, “Oh, you said I was the worst parent.” I never said that. But some part of them is trying to stop them from looking at this other part. It’s coming out of some place in themselves.