I don’t remember this session with my aunt, but clearly, I was resisting God’s will.
Deep down you know that the best thing you can do is to be one with His Will. As you are one with His will, that is when His grace, strength and wisdom can flow through you to others. But instead, you have this idea of what your life should be like, and you hold that up and then criticize what is happening in your life. It’s okay if you say, “Lord, my pestilent inner child is really upset, because she does not like what You are permitting to happen in my life. But I really don’t want her running my life anyhow, so I’m not going to demand that you do what I want.”
X keeps trying to make life the way she wants it to happen, instead of this is the way life happened. Now, what is God saying to you through this? God is always trying to help bring the best out of it. That’s what God is doing with all this other stuff. Don’t try to change X. You’re the one who has to change. When God allows things to happen in your life that aren’t the way you would want to have them, I always take it as He’s got something better for you, and you have to do the changing. That’s what God wants us to look for when these things happen. Crud happens.The real thing is what are you going to do with it. That is what makes our character. It’s not happening, because you are not accepting. You’re rebelling against it.
Pray, “Lord, help me not be so stubborn wanting my own way to do things. I’m so focused in on what I want. Diminish that from a 10 down to a 1. Increase what you want in my life to a 10.” In other words, let go and Let God. It is okay to have a sit-down talk with God. “I know I’m not doing well, because I’m too busy trying to get you to change what is happening in my life that I don’t like. Lord, I don’t want to use all of this energy for rebellion. Help me to get a hold of it to use it towards growth.” When we pray to have our will melted into His, do you really think of what that means? Apply it to what you’re going through. It is really letting go and letting God be God, and stop trying to tell him what to do and getting upset if He doesn’t follow your mighty wisdom. It’s like, “Whoops. You’re God. I’m not. Forgive me. I kind of forget my place, Lord.” Do you want to know why you are in the wilderness? It is because your stubborn- hearted will has called you there. It is a mighty battle with God over who has the most wisdom.