This is from my spiritual direction session with my Aunt Betty in 2003. Perfectionists have a hard time loving the weak places in themselves, but it is in doing so that they get free. My Aunt Betty’s words are in red below:
We need to learn to love the parts of ourselves on all 5 levels: physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and relational. The Lord can’t heal you until you stop fighting and find His will in the crosses He has permitted in your life. There is a lot of wisdom displayed for us by Our Lady when she said, “Let it be done unto me according to Your will.” If we are in rebellion on any of the above 5 levels, we are hindering our own healing. The Perfectionist in you is living a lie when that part keeps insisting that “Everything should be going your way.” You need to cry out to God that your heart might cease rebellion of the cross He’s given you. You need to recognize when you are being tempted to rebellion to whatever God is permitting to happen that goes against your own willfulness. You need to ask for humility and deeper hungering for God. “O Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.”
The only way to get out of hating someone is to pray for them. That is true for those parts of ourselves that we hate as well. As you accept the weak parts of yourself, then you can bring them to Jesus, and He can heal them. When we don’t accept our weaknesses, and hide them from Jesus, it makes it harder for Jesus to heal us. We don’t like to identify with our weak parts. Ask the Lord to increase your steadfastness. Continue to believe that, “Nothing is impossible with God.” The enemy wants us to believe that everything God asks us to do is impossible. Pray for the grace. The Divine Will breaks through into ever larger portions of your personality. You no longer live. Christ lives in you. That’s the goal. The ego is afraid to surrender to the Divine Will. It wants to be in control.