Here are my Aunt Betty’s words to me last week, when I was sharing all the challenges that were happening in my life. Her words inspired me to keep pressing on.
When you are pressing through, you are giving honor and glory to God, because you are doing the right things. If this suffering is not letting up, and you are in the Divine Will, what is that saying? There is something good God is doing, so it is not meant to let up. You have to trust God is bringing good out of this. You don’t understand, but you hang in there.
It is a time of testing. You try to believe that if you do your part, which is hanging in there, God will bring good out of it. You pray, put on Christian music, pray in tongues, pray Scriptures, etc. Get in the discipline of staying in the present moment. Let go and trust God. Could this be why you keep getting tested? Until you can finally yield? Pray and give the Lord your discouragement. Ask God for more faith.
Ask God to get you out of the wilderness. If it is not His will, accept the fact that you are supposed to be in the wilderness. There is a mystery as to what is going on. Ask yourself, “This is not what I want, but is God in this? Is this what He wants?”
Pray, “Lord, I am in a rebellion over what is happening, because it is not what I want. But I’m not here in life to only get what I want, and I know that. So, please, I give you my will. I ask that you melt it into Yours, so that I can choose what You want, so that you can be present through me. Here I’m in this rebellion giving you a hard time. I don’t know why I’m doing this, when I’m really called to abandon and yield, and die to my will.”
Deep down you know that the best thing you can do is be one with His Will. When you are in His will, that is when His grace, strength and wisdom can flow through you to others. But instead, you have this idea of what your life should be like, and you hold that up, and then criticize what is happening in your life.
When God allows things to happen in our lives that aren’t the way we would have them, I always take it as He’s got something better for us. “Lord, I don’t want to use all of this energy for rebellion. Help me to get a hold of it to use it towards growth. When we pray to have our will melted into His, do you really think of what that means? Apply it to what you’re going through. It is really letting go and letting God be God.
Do you want to know why you are in the wilderness? It is because your stubborn- hearted will has called you there. It is a mighty battle with God over who has the most wisdom. Watch your expectations. Don’t expect God to change everything all at once. Because dying comes hard, and your will is not going to give up easily. It will try to find new ways to convince God that your way is right, and His is wrong. Your will is being called to die, and let the power of the will of God become greater. I wish I could promise you that there was an easy way, but it doesn’t work that way. Could it be that your purpose is to be doing what you are doing, and keep applying faith even when things are rough? You are hanging in there and being faithful even when life is rough. If you are doing it to give God honor and glory, it has merit. It’s not easy to be a true Christian. But we do give honor and glory by hanging in and responding to what He wants us to do.
Whatever feelings come up in you, yield to him. Admit you have a stubborn heart, and that unless He does it, it won’t get done. This is what you go into the desert for: to let God be God through you. It will be the best work you ever did for God. Trust that when God closes a door, another one is opening. You want to be where God knows you are to be. It is the safest place. Don’t get discouraged.