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AM: God still uses suffering even if we bring it upon ourselves.

Betty: Well, God is merciful. But we do give Him more honor, when we develop the obedient heart. Because He doesn’t enjoy seeing us make ourselves suffer. Look at parents. Sometimes, they see their kids doing this kind of stuff to themselves. And a part of them is like, “Come on. Get with it. You’re going to suffer less and be the person you keep fussing you want to be, but you gotta do the work.” 

AM: Lately, I’ve heard young adults say, “I’ll never be free from my struggles.”

Betty: Okay, there again, they’re trying to control the future with their anger, and God’s supposed to rush in and do what often parents do. They let the kids manipulate them. God’s not going to let them manipulate Him. They’re making their own decisions. And there is a point at which we have to suffer in the results of our own decision. Fr. Wheeler used to say, “Well maybe when they suffer enough, they’ll come around.” It’s sad, but that’s what people do. They choose to suffer, because they want their own way, and they try to get God to give them their own way. But God’s not manipulated like we human beings are. 

For example, when wives get into a more resigned place, where they work thru some of their crap, I think it’s easier for their husbands to listen and deal with what it is their wives are asking of them. But, I think when they’re in that rattled place, it kind of rattles their husbands. They just unconsciously tune into this crazy part of their wives and don’t want to deal with it. They just want to bring them to a place of peace, and get them out of there so to speak. It’s harder for people to really hear us when we’re in that scattered or controlling place. All they know in their gut is they just want to get out of there. They don’t want to be cornered by us. And so, when you come out of a place of peace, people can listen to you better. 

A lot of times, people just want you to take all their garbage coming out of them. They want to unload their garbage and it’s like, “Well just put it in the bin, and when you’re finished, come and we’ll talk.” The majority of times, there’s a part of us that knows that we were made for something better than to just be dumped on.

Do you find yourself spewing your garbage on others rather than sending it to the foot of the Christ for Jesus to deal with? Take time to journal and clean up inside before coming to another with an issue.

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