AM: So, you’re saying that if I can get all this junk out, then these things don’t have to keep happening?
Betty: Yeah. See, that’s part how we get hooked. We have this stuff where we’re not in truth ourselves. And it has got to go. When you shove stuff down, and you don’t give it over to the Lord, you’re acting as though there’s nothing wrong with you. But there is something wrong with you. You’re not living in truth. We need to learn to go to the Lord to talk to him about this stuff, hand it over, and not play games. We’re called to live our life in truth, and when we live our life in truth, in His will, that’s the safest place we can ever be. So, when we shove stuff down, we’re not living in truth. We’re saying, “There’s nothing wrong with me.” When there really is a lot wrong.
AM: So, we’re always supposed to deal with our stuff?
Betty: We have to live in truth. “You shall learn the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 3:16) So, if you want to be free, you try to live a life in truth. It’s hard to work through stuff and to bring it out, like “I really am feeling resentment, and I’m being judgmental.” Our Perfectionist does not want to help us get into truth, because that’s embarrassing for her. She wants to act like she’s already there. But we got to give up the game.
AM: But sometimes there’s stuff we don’t even know is there, until God shows it to us…
Betty: You need to let go, and let it go to God. I think part of your laying awake at night is you when you try to manipulate it and handle it. But you’re not quite expert at letting things go and saying, “Lord, teach me.” That’s where I found the greater freedom came to me. It was as I stood in truth and could admit where all those “ouch” places were and my feelings of being rejected and all of that. I needed to own up to it, and keep giving it to the Lord, so the Lord could heal it.
AM: It comes down to not chewing on the garbage, but chewing on the good stuff.
Betty: Yes. You look at the garbage in order to handle it, and then give it over to the Lord. You don’t sit there in judgment on the other person. Because thetruth shall be their judge, not you. So, we’re out of order if we’re busy saying, “They’re doing it for this reason and…” It’s like, “No. Don’t go there.” Let God take care of their motivation and the rest of it. But you hand it to the Lord, and ask him to teach you what he wants you to do. Then you actually make progress. If not, I notice that the Lord, almost out of His love for us, is forced to let things keep happening over and over again in different ways. But it keeps repeating itself until we come into truth. He doesn’t want to reward bad behavior.
You had to work thru things with X and you didn’t fully catch on, so then you had Y. They are doing a real service for you. They’re helping you get your crud up.
AM: Although I did a better job with Y, so, that was good.
Betty: Well, I don’t know. You were still running. You weren’t dealing with it. What you got to do is stop running, and go to the Lord and sit down with him and say, “There’s something here where I’m not being upfront with you. Please help me get a hold of it, so we can deal with it.
AM: I thought you and I worked on it though.
Betty: Well, maybe you went as far as you could at the time. We gradually make progress to where we can handle more of the pain.
Stand in truth and admit where all those “ouch” places are and any negative feelings. Own up to it, and keep giving it to the Lord, so that He can heal it.