AM: I guess I just need to keep working on my will. This isn’t how I wanted it to be. I want to be the one whose spending hours in prayer and…
Betty: See, I think your holiness is your actual ability to die to your will. That’s what holiness is. It is going to be exactly in that giving up what you want. Because that is the will that has to die for you to be one with God. And the “I want” in you is very, very strong. It might be because as a child you felt what you wanted was not being heard. So, during those early formative years, what you wanted went deep down inside of you, because it wasn’t being heard. So, it’s driven inward. In order for the Lord to set you free, He’s going to have to lead you in giving over to him your wants and your needs and learning that God knows how to fulfill our true needs and our true wants when we learn to yield. But we have to learn to yield them to him before he can truly fulfill us.
That’s where the death to self that is part of growth in the spiritual life needs to occur. See, the enemy will tell you, “Oh, God wants you to give up who you are. You can’t be who you are. God’s going to want to tell you who you are.” Yes. Because who you are is contained in him. But that’s not the way the enemy sees it. In fact, that’s how the enemy got in trouble. Because he stood up to God. He didn’t turn out too well. So, you don’t want to follow his example. He keeps coming back trying to get us to follow his example. And I keep looking at him saying, “You didn’t wind up to well. I’m not going to follow your example.”
AM: “Yes, Lord, I do want to follow you. Please give me the grace…”
Betty: The Lord does say, “He will give us the grace to accomplish that which He has called us to.” That’s his promise to us. There’s a whole catch to that though. It’s not easy, part because we have to die to our own will. Grace is in doing what God called us to do. But we don’t always want to do that which He called us to do. We’ve got our own will in there. But He’s right. When we do yield, things go so much easier.
AM: That’s what’s causing me to be so exhausted. It’s where I’m not yielding.
Betty: Oh, if you are fighting the will of God, that would cause terrible exhaustion. Think of who you’re fighting.
Are you fighting God’s will for your life? Grace is in being who God called us to be. Pray to yield to His will.