My Aunt Betty and I have had many a session on the healing of rejection. It’s been a pattern that’s repeated throughout my life, but I’ve found that the more I forgive myself, the less trouble I have with rejection. I can pick up when others are rejecting themselves. I tell them it’s like they are wearing a neon sign that says, “Reject me.” I find it fascinating that we unconsciously tell others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. In red are my Aunt Betty’s words to me during one of our spiritual direction sessions:
The worst rejection is the rejection we get from ourselves. We can give other people permission to reject us because we reject ourselves. When we get out of rejecting ourselves, then we are less likely to experience it from others. Pray, “Lord, help me break self-hatred, rejection, and condemnation.” I was praying one day and I reflected on the parable about the King and the servant who was forgiven his entire debt, yet went out and beat his servant for not paying him a small debt. I was convicted about the need to forgive myself as I heard the Lord saying, “I forgave you so much, but you won’t forgive yourself.” We have to give up beating ourselves up. It isn’t Christ-like. When we hear the Our Father, the Lord wants to forgive us. If we refuse to forgive ourselves, He can’t forgive us. We need to take responsibility to forgive ourselves. We want to make excuses for ourselves. Jesus calls us to embrace the truth.
There are certain faults we don’t get out of because we’re unforgiving. We believe the lie of Satan that we are meant to be perfect. We are a creature, but we want to be the Creator. God made us to learn by trial and error. By His uniting with us, we take on that union with Him. He’s our perfection. Perfection lays in God whose chosen to be one with us.
We reject ourselves when we refuse to accept the person God brought forth. It’ll cause us a lot of pain. Jesus became like us except in sin. He took upon Himself our rejection and in turn people rejected Him because He was living our rejection.