AM: I’m struggling with X because…

Betty: Put all that conjuncture at the foot of the cross. Let go of it. Can you say, “Lord, You alone are the Savior, the healer and the Redeemer. X and I are stuck. I can’t seem to let go. I keep reappearing in the psychodrama of her life. If there’s anything I can let you teach me today, Lord, please teach me, and help me to get out this stuck place. I’ve been in it long enough.” Go into tongues. X is in your life, because the Lord wants to heal you of something else. So, you’ve got to open the door, and go downstairs with your adult and Jesus and really get into what is going on. What I hear is your inner kid is in a rage. It’s like it’s been going on and on. Let’s get it over with. My mother used to have an expression, “Crap or get off the pot.” That’s where there’s a part of you saying that to yourself. “Crap or get off the pot.” You’re stuck there, and poor X can’t get out of your life until you really deal with it. So, come on. Let’s deal with it. The crap is your anger. There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to get your anger and work through it. But in order for you to move, you need to. If I could find an easier way to help people get through their anger, I would. It seems like they have to deal with the fact that they’re not this wonderful, good little kid. They have a rageful part of themselves. They need to actually feel it. But where I put my foot down is they don’t need to act it out on other people. That’s where I think some therapists let their clients rage and worry their family. That’s not necessary. But they have to own their rage, feel it, express it, and let it go to the cross. We can get our emotional constipation out of us thru certain exercises. You need some of those exercises to get your rage out, because you two are caught in something that you need freedom from. And X needs to get out of her stuck place, too. Don’t blame each other. Both of you need to move out of this stuck place. Ask the Lord to help you get in contact with where there is an open door in you that gives people permission to disrespect you and treat you as though you’re not worthy of the respect that they need to give. They think the problem is inherently yours, not theirs. So, if that seems right, can you say, “Lord, help me to open that door, and to realize how, when, and where I’ve given others permission to disrespect me and treat me as though I am not deserving of the same respect as they expect for themselves.” So, there’s a part of you that somewhere along the line learned that you’re not worthy of the respect that these others are demanding for themselves. I want you to go into tongues, and try to get ahold of this.

AM: If I set a boundary, they say I’m overreacting. Then, I feel guilty about it. 

Betty: Okay, so you can see the game and how it’s played. So, turn to the Lord. What do you want to say to Him? Can you see where there’s a disrespect for truth here, because everybody is playing the game of deceit. You don’t want to be in those games anymore. You’re being called to live your life in truth. And so, it’s like, “Okay Lord. Thank you for showing me this bad habit I’ve gotten into trying to people please. I know this is not what you desire of me, so I ask you now for the grace to break this bad habit. 

If you find yourself playing games of deceit, ask the Lord for the grace to break that bad habit.