Below in red, are my Aunt Betty’s words to me during a spiritual direction session. I put my response in blue.
God doesn’t have to take orders from us. We’re creatures. He’s the Creator. So, He can want this to be happening. He can be willing it and allowing it to happen.
I told her: “Really? So, He can want this to be happening? He can be willing it and allowing it to happen? Because it seems to me like something that shouldn’t be. So, that’s why I keep feeling like I need to break it.”
When you say in your manner, timing and intensity, you are submitting to God’s will, believing that God always knows and seeks your best. So, when you pray that way, you’re really honoring the wisdom and intelligence of God. Right? Sometimes the way we pray, it sounds as if we’re saying, “No, God, you do this and you should do that. And it’s like, wait a minute. God did not die and leave you in charge. Right? You are the creature. You are the sinner. You want to honor His dignity. That’s why I pray the way I do.
What’s Mary saying, “Not my will, but Thine be done.” We all have to watch our self-will. We all keep trying to get in there. And when we see it, then we repent. Right? You will leave it according to God’s timing, manner, and intensity. There’s nothing wrong with that. Pride does not like to be exposed in any way that it could.
He wants you to be humbled by this possibly, so that then you turn to Him, because you’re powerless. Because there is the part of us, especially when we’re in a healing ministry, where we’ve got to be careful to remain the humble servant knowing who the Healer is. We can be tempted to try, and take charge. And if you ever noticed, that’s what happens to some people who have a healing ministry and wind up going sour. It’s because they become so enamored of their own powerfulness. It causes destruction. That humble attitude is very important. Accepting who you are before God, is what it means to learn to live your life in truth. So, that’s good. The part of us that has trouble with it is called pride. We’re all prideful beings. When we start being proud of our humility, it becomes hilarious. But, we do. God’s very creative. I’m amazed at how He manages. So, God will continue to show you the areas where you’re not God and that’s good, that’s very good. That’s because we have to be constantly reminded of our place before HIm. Let God be God.
You know, in some way, have mercy on yourself, because the Lord reminded me that the way I treat myself is the way I’m going to treat other people. So, we have to let go of areas where we’re disappointed with ourselves. We have to learn to forgive, and let go. Don’t image it resting in your jaw, but give it permission to move to the cross where it’s supposed to go. Keep imaging the negative energy going up and going into the cross, and then the Lord’s Healing Light coming back in the same area of the body that was getting tense. What you’re doing is not healing yourself. But you’re yielding to the presence of the Lord, in faith, believing He can heal you. That’s a good thing. See whether it is the negative energy of your judgment on X, or the negative energy in the generations, you really don’t have to deal with exactly what it is, but just will that it all go.
If I were to hear something like that, I would give that thought to the Lord, and say, “Lord, I want to do your will.” See, don’t give your self-will the predominance of wanting to take over. Okay. Just choose God’s will, and give Him that thought.
Behold, I come to do your will. That’s the words of Jesus. He came into life seeking the will of the Father. So, yield yourself to the Will of the Father. Now, even as you sleep, cover yourself with holy water, and go to sleep just receiving the Lord’s light.