I’m out of the walking boot and able to walk around a bit. God taught me a lot during this time, and no doubt I have many more lessons, as I wait for the nerves in my feet to heal. This next excerpt has to do with waiting on God’s timing. I’ve been impatient to do more with my life, yet God has allowed me to be off my feet, to a greater or lesser degree, for several months now. Back in December, I thought my strength would be manifest physically, as I worked out several days a week, but God had a different vision for my strength. He wanted more strength of character. If we surrender, God can do some of His best work when we are going through trials. Often, before a transformation, suffering precedes it.  It goes back to the scripture, “Gold is tested by fire, and human character is tested in the furnace of humility. Trust the Lord, and He will help you. Walk straight in His ways, and put your hope in Him. (Sirach 2:5-6)  I’ve written my Aunt Betty’s words of wisdom to me below in red:

We get impatient with God, but really God is telling us that we have to go deeper. Perhaps we’re too superficial to be able to stand in the heaviness of the harassment, the darkness out there. Go deeper. Go into the “I am.” A tree that’s going to be tall and strong has to have very deep roots. An oak tree, which is a very powerful tree, can’t have superficial roots. The first strong wind would take it over. So, in order to be a really strong person of God, we have to go deep into the Lord. Instead, we get into our impatience, into the “I want,” instead of the “I need.” There’s a difference between those two, but we get into our “I want.” We want to get out there and be a champion for the Lord, but we don’t have a good solid base root. So, the Lord in His love and mercy will not take us out there. We have to have an obedient heart.

When you want to know a direction, go deep and enter more deeply in God, and you’ll find your direction. People with Word gifts, are not meant to become like a fortune teller. They’re meant to help the person listen to what God is telling them is good for them. The fortune teller will tell you what you want to hear and lead you to your destruction.  God meets the real need. Fortune tellers and pseudo gifted people will lead you to what you want. So, you have to make a choice. The choice is the obedient heart because there you go more deeply into God. And, you yourself are protected and stand strong and speak the real truth. Whereas, the people who want to rush out there, get caught up in deceit, because they’re open to confusion and haven’t gone deep enough.

I’ve learned to wait on God. He could have had me doing more when I was younger, but that’s His problem. You and I are not to tell Him who we are and what we are to do. When He said, “Come follow me.” He didn’t say, “Come lead me.” Think about that. He deliberately said “Follow me.” If you look at the lives of the apostles, they were in that impatient place. They said, “John’s disciples are doing…” It’s only after Jesus suffered and died that the Holy Spirit descended and the apostles went out transformed. But we can’t push God around. He knows the right manner, timing, and intensity. That to me is one of the real strong lessons every single person has to learn. “Let go. Let God. Surrender. Yield.”

Have a humble, submissive heart. “We keep looking to the Lord our God for his mercy, just as servants keep their eyes on their master, as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal.”(Psalm 123:2) If the master wants you to sit and wait, you are still serving by sitting and waiting. The whole idea is like the servant whose eyes are on the mistress. She’s looking for what the mistress wants. God wants us like that. We really have to die to our will.