AM: “So, Lord, I do hold up this perfectionistic part and anyone I hurt with my meanness.” 

Betty: Wait a minute. You’re the one that keeps calling yourself mean. Did I call you mean? I don’t think I did. 

AM: No, but sometimes I can be mean. 

Betty: Yeah, you can. But do you really want to call yourself that? Do you want to identify with meanness? 

AM: No. 

Betty: Okay. “I am.” That’s an identification. I don’t think you are meanness. But I think you can be mean when you see that you’re imperfect. “How dare this part of me not be perfect!” Hello. I hate to tell you. But I’ve been around a long time. And my observations are that 99.9% of me is imperfect. Get used to it kid. It’s part of being a creature. Crawl out of your pseudo God image, would you please, so, we can work together?  

It’s time to leave the perfect God image behind. You don’t need it. 

Actually, I would think it behooves you to be more compassionate for the poor woman who you is suffering from the same malady that you suffer so much from, rather than rage at her. Because you could pray that God will help her out of her big God image, too.  

Fortunately, as that person acts out, we become aware of what we can’t stand.  “Oh Lord, forgive us for the people we’ve hurt in our wakening awareness. But we didn’t work fast to take it and see it for ourselves. God have mercy.” That woman did you a great favor.  Walk back through how you reacted to her. It’s interesting.  

AM: I had anger and judgment. 

Betty: “How dare you be imperfect like I am? What gives you that right? There’s only room for one imperfect person and that’s me.” Hello. Is anybody home downstairs? “So, Lord, help me to see myself as I am in your sight. Help me open the door to all of those who I have judged and pushed away in anger at their daring to show me how imperfect I am. I didn’t want to see it. And by their imperfection, they made me see it.”

I’m hearing a scream. I think we feel violated by these people who pull us out of denial, when we were so comfortable in denial. How dare them!  Who do they think they are? I bet God laughs upstairs. I’m glad he enjoys his little creatures and that he’s so forgiving and compassionate. If only we’d catch on faster, we wouldn’t have to hurt each other as much as we do. 

Is there someone whose getting on your nerves whose pulling you out of denial showing you that you’re like them? Pray for them and you to get healed.