Betty: Instead of taking this situation and saying, “Lord, help me forgive myself for not following that gut sense, and then, let it go, there’s a part of you that enjoys beating yourself up. I think you’re intelligent enough to understand what I’m saying to you. If you were working with a client, you’d probably be telling them what I’m telling you. So, I’m saying to myself, “It’s not that she’s ignorant or that she doesn’t have the information. She does. Then, why does she keep making the choice for that which is not good for her and not to the glory of Christ. Why would you do that?” 

AM: I get intuition, but I don’t follow it. I don’t understand why I don’t follow through. 

Betty: Well, then why don’t you stop and say, “Lord, this is a case in point. Look at me. I’m angry at myself. I want to beat myself up when I know what you told us. I know condemnation does not give you joy. I want to give you glory. Help me to stop choosing the way of darkness.” Can you image the problem you’re going through and leave it at the foot of the cross. Can you let it go? You have to make choices that are good for you.  We all do. And with what’s happening in the world, you can’t play around with stupid things like this. Let’s go into tongues, so you can go into a bit of sanity. 

AM: I’m already feeling discouraged in the spiritual life, because I can’t focus. I’m beyond exasperated with Covid long haul. It’s affecting my peace, because I’m struggling with focus…

Betty: Ok, but don’t you think Jesus understands what you said? 

AM: I don’t know. These are the most critical times to be praying. Before I could sit in the chapel for an hour or even two. So, how is this a good thing at a time when we need more prayer, and I’m all over the map? 

Betty: I’m trying to get you to make choices and to live a life of faith, so God receives glory. If you really live your faith, God can take you out of this place at any minute. So, there doesn’t need to be the pressure on you to get out of this crazy place that you see was from Covid. But you can glorify God where you are as long as you hold this up to the Lord. Say, “Lord this is where I am. I’m making stupid decisions, but I know it doesn’t please you when I beat myself up. So, I am going to choose out of love for you not to beat myself up. I hope you take that as an offering.” And he will. You can still continue to grow. I feel like the Lord is using this as testing for you to grow. And every time you make the right choice, you have grown that much more. 

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. The world is crazy. But if the world decides to act up where we happen to be, at least, in making these choices the way God’s leading you, you’ll be ready to go. So, you’re not gonna lose anything by making right choices. The Lord looks to our intentions and our motives. So, when you feel the Perfectionist, who’s competing to be God, urging you to go against what God’s taught you, and you make a choice to turn from her to be obedient to God, He has received glory. You’re that much closer, regardless of what the crazy world does. 

AM: Yeah, but being able to focus and do the Divine Will made me more peaceful. 

Betty: See, right now you’re really being tested. And when God wants to release you from this, he can. But in the meanwhile, turn away from what you know he’s told you not to do. Don’t beat yourself up. Forgive yourself. The Lord’s saying, “Give it to me, and believe I’m gonna bring something good out of it.” That’s what he told us. Now I believe him and since I am acting that way. I can’t tell you how much peace it brings. I want it for you. I don’t want to see you torturing yourself. You’re not giving glory to God. You’re not helping yourself. The only person getting glory is Satan. And Lord knows we don’t want to give him glory.