I wrote this years ago when I was going through a tough time. I hesitated sending it out, because I was being demanding asking why God doesn’t always help me. But I’m sending it for those of you who can benefit from my Aunt Betty’s wisdom in response to my arrogance.

AM: How come God doesn’t always help me out when I bring things to Him?

Betty: Well, ask the Lord what it is. Is it a part of you that clings to the self-pity and doesn’t give it up? Because I repent and give it up. I don’t want to have any resentment in me. So, I keep giving up resentments as soon as I smell them. So, you have to be willing to keep repenting. God has profound respect for free will. We don’t realize how much we ourselves are holding back our whole healing. But, if our will does not truly want to go with God on something, He will honor that and stop the whole healing process until we get aboard. Whenever you get stuck, it’s like, “Okay, Lord show me. Is there a part of me stubbornly clinging to wanting my own will in this? Is there a part stopping you from being able to act?” See, you always look at the Lord, knowing He’s complete total goodness,  love and truth. He cannot seek anything but goodness, love and truth. It’s His very nature. He just can’t do it. So, if there’s anything lacking in goodness, love and truth, you know automatically, it’s you. And, you automatically say, “Lord, what is it in me that’s a block? I don’t go and say, “Lord, why aren’t you helping me?” Notice the difference there? 

AM: So, you say, “What is it me that’s throwing a block?” 

Betty: Yeah, because I know it’s not His problem. “The humble, contrite heart, the Lord will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17) The proud heart wants to blame God for whatever. He will ignore that. 

AM: And that’s what I’m doing by saying, “He’s not listening?” 

Betty: Yeah. You don’t know God. If you knew God, you would never say that. 

AM: It’s not that he’s not listening. It’s me. I’m not getting the lesson, and I’ve had you helping me for years. I get more into beating myself up. 

Betty: Okay, so you have that naughty habit of going into that satanic sickness of saying “what if” and then going into the basement door thru the, “What if I’m not doing enough? Blah, blah, blah.” But even there, you see, you’re looking at yourself. When you want help, you want to look at God. Don’t look at yourself. You obviously can’t help. That’s why you’re stuck. So, stop looking to yourself. Stop saying, “What am I not doing?” That’s looking into self. I tend to look more toward God. It’s like, “Okay, Lord obviously there’s something I’m not listening to you on. Whatever it is, could you open that door and help me to hear and want to act on it.” That is a way. You might say, “Gee, it sounds like you’re doing the same thing.” But no, the focus is different. The focus is God. It’s like, “Oh Lord, can you show me what I’m doing?” Instead, you go into opening the basement door to Satan’s torture chamber and then beating yourself up. Does that give God glory? No. Does that help solve your problem? No. Then why are you doing it? Well, because you’ve always done it that way? Well, why don’t you give it up? In fact, saying the excuse, “Because I always did it that way,” needs to be thrown out if you haven’t already thrown it out. In the course of time, with God’s grace, I gave up some of my bad habits. Obviously, you’re getting better. So, you must be giving up some of your habits, too, but not fast enough to suit yourself. But you are giving them up, because you’re changing for the better. Don’t you see that? 

If there’s a part of you that has a block, pray, “Lord, obviously there’s something I’m not listening to you on. Whatever it is, could you open that door, and help me to hear and want to act on it?”