AM: There’s something about that speaker’s personality that is hard for me.

Betty: What I learned from Carl Jung is if someone irritates me, then it’s telling me about a part of myself that’s in my shadow that I don’t want to face. And that is such bad news. Because usually they’re a person that you’d never ever think that there could be something in you that’s that bad. But it must be, or we wouldn’t get so caught up in them. 

AM: I can believe that it’s in me, it’s just hard for me to be around it.

Betty: Let‘s go back to the point of your denial. You’re not willing to believe that when you get irritated around let’s say this speaker, because she’s in her inflated ego, that that kind of “RRRR” might be the call to you to look at your inflated ego. Bring that before the Lord, and then maybe that speaker’s inflated ego won’t irritate you so much.

 AM: I do recognize it’s the inflated ego. The difference is that I’m not out there doing ministry. My inflated ego just hangs at home working and taking care of kids. 

Betty: Okay, and so deep down, could your inflated ego be jealous? 

AM: I’m just doing blogs which helps a person here and there. I take care of kids, clean the house, and Life Coach. But there’s definitely not any ego strokes coming from anything really that I’m doing. I know that’s how it’s supposed to be. But it’s hard, because you always feel like you’re sitting on the sidelines. You’re not really playing in the game. 

Betty: And yet, if that’s where God wants you, it’s the best thing you could be doing. You know that. But it doesn’t exactly make you feel better. 

AM: No. I don’t mind doing mundane tasks, but…

Betty: The hard part is to pull out your journal and sit there and dialogue and listen to what’s going on inside. And yet, actually, until you walk through that pain, it won’t be resolved. So, if that were me, I would say, “Betty, I know you don’t want to listen to it, but you got to stop avoiding what’s going on, and dialogue in the spirit and get in contact with these ruffled feelings, negative judgments and you name it. Bring them up to consciousness. So, you can repent and receive healing.” 

It’s the only way out. It’s called repentance. And frankly, I do believe that is a task for our time. Those that aren’t doing that are going to be sorry when that time of the warning comes and we’re faced with all our crap. It hurts to have to admit that there’s a part of me that is so self-centered and petty. It’s so much easier to see it in the other person than to see it in myself. But I cannot get out of the stuck place until I go before the Lord and humbly admit where I am. Because then he can save me. He can only deal with truth. So, I feel that’s where you are today. You’re kind of stuck in an in-between place. There’s a rebellious side of us. It’s like, “Oh, I repented already thousands of times, and now we’re back into this again.” And it’s like, “Lord, can’t you just do it, and get it all over with?” Okay, yes, God can. There’s no doubt God can. You might say, “Okay, then why don’t you?” Because you aren’t ready. He can only help us one step at a time to repent and yield. So, that’s where you’re at right now. I never got to do what I thought the Lord was gonna ask me to do for him. But I kept walking, trying to do what I could and I kept repenting for what I messed up on. I wonder how many other people have had the same experience as I’ve had. 

Is there any place in you where you need to get in contact with disturbed feelings, bring it before the Lord and repent.