AM: I’m eating my feelings down with popcorn. 

Betty: I can’t bring you out of this in so far that it’s the stuff the Lord wants you to face. It’s important for you to face it, repent, and move on. It’s not that eating popcorn is bad, but it’s just when you know you’re using it to push something down. 

AM: I do write in my journal, but things don’t seem to move. 

Betty: If you don’t open the doors, if you’re just working on the surface, it doesn’t work. You’ve really got to get down where you feel it. Pray in tongues. What do you feel like? 

AM: My Perfectionist is harsh. 

Betty: What I’m hearing is, “I feel very judgmental. I don’t want to even stop to listen to what you have to say. I just want to shove one judgment out after another.” When have you felt like that? 

AM: When I was younger, X…

Betty: I think X was afraid of his feelings. He didn’t want you acting out feelings, because that may make him feel vulnerable. He had to keep the professional front.” There was a time he finally broke through and became a more gentle person. But when you were growing up, he had that perfect persona that he had to keep out there. He was trying to maintain it and something about you was threatening it. Probably your honest feelings were pulling him into honesty with his feelings, and he just couldn’t handle it. So, if that rings a bell with you, can you turn to Jesus and get in the feeling? Let the child be heard by Jesus. Did you feel like you weren’t heard by X? Do you feel that way about God? How do you relate with God the Father? Do you talk to God the father and journal? 

AM: Not as much. 

Betty: Okay, when you do your journaling this week, journal this, because there’s a connection between X when you were young. I’m talking about him back when he was in his perfect persona. In later years, he was different. There’s a connection there that’s affecting your relationship with God the Father. Can you listen to the truth that comes up within you from God the Father? I’m hearing that.you don’t trust Him. But it really has to do with you don’t trust X. Because back then, X could not handle your emotions and tried to use judgment to protect himself from them. And that didn’t go over with the kid. It’s like the kid almost felt beat up by the judgment. Psychologically, it’s like a beating. “You’re this. You’re that. Blah blah blah…” It’s almost like he was projecting what he didn’t like about himself into you. 

AM: And I think that’s sometimes what others can do since I haven’t gotten that healed. 

Betty: Well, then once you allow Jesus to heal you, you can get these inner doors shut, so people won’t be able to do that to you. Try working with, “You’re this. You’re that.” It’s like I’m hearing this voice with judgments. Because they were stuck in each other’s shadow. Work through that this week. Seriously, it is gonna take a little discipline on your part. But you can’t eat it down forever and keep running. You’ve gotta face it, so we can move on. Honestly, I look at it and say, “The years I spent running…I wish I had just dealt with it.

AM: Y tries to get at you. 

Betty: I think this stuff is painful. They have to throw it somewhere if they don’t let the Lord heal them. See, that’s the thing. If you let the Lord heal you, you don’t have to throw it at somebody. And you won’t have to keep running from these people.