My daughter, Grace, told me, “Mom, I think God allowed the injuries to your feet to teach you to have strength inside. You were working out and getting physically strong, but God wanted you to have inner strength first.” 

Getting physically strong was much more fun for my ego. But God allowed the opposite to happen when a professional permanently damaged the nerves in my feet. I’ve been humbled and now have a lot more compassion for people who suffer. I found an old email from my Aunt Betty when I was at one of my lowest points with the nerve injury that was compounded by a fractured ankle.

AM: I’m going dark… (I wrote more here, but I’m leaving out the specifics)

Betty: O great!  So, you call more evil and suffering upon yourself because you don’t have enough of it???? Where most of us hide under Mary’s mantle or seek the Lord’s protection, you curse yourself and attract more evil and hence suffering to you. Help me to understand your reasoning here?  It escapes me.

Our prayer to be one with God’s will has consequences. Things will happen that will give us opportunities to die to our will. We need to peacefully submit to its death. I find as I do that I am growing in peace. But things are not always going my way. You were visited with a problem foot, and your will responds by going into a rage. Remember in the Old Testament Jacob fighting with the angel all night?  He wound up with a broken hip. Submitting in peace brings less suffering our way. The less I fight, the more peace I have.

AM: I can’t seem to get forward movement. I’m just laying around, because I have to stay off my feet. It’s driving me crazy!!! 

Betty: What about choosing to learn how to submit a very strong willfulness to the Lord instead of choosing to go crazy and cursing yourself? Please go into the arms of Jesus and let him love you. REPENT and learn how to submit to His Will.  I believe in you …YOU CAN LET GO and LET GOD. Skype me after lunch tomorrow when you have let Jesus love you enough that you can hear the truth and be at peace.

Is there an area in your life that you need to learn to submit to the Lord instead of fighting Him? Repent and learn how to submit to His will.