Betty: Your will needs to get out of the torture that you put yourself into. You do it by going into “what ifs” and “if onlys.” And even though your adult understands me, because your adult is intelligent, your kid is stronger than your adult. So, start praying in tongues. Ask the Lord to help you get that door open, so you can take charge of the kid, and stop this unnecessary torturing… unless you haven’t had enough yet. You have to be willing to let go. See, otherwise it’s not gonna work. What’s going through your head?

AM: Well, my fear is that…

Betty: Your adult knows where that fear source is from. But even though you know that, you keep giving the enemy the power to take your attention. So, you’re holding the door open. Jesus said many times. “Don’t be anxious.” Because that’s how you open yourself to vulnerability. There’s a need to control that helps you open the door. You’re just a little creature. If what you fear is happening, torturing yourself is not going to change it. So, can your adult follow the logic of, “Hey wait a minute. This is stupid.” Is the adult on our side? Because we can’t do anything unless at least the adult joins in.

AM: Yeah. I’m seeing my faults… 

Betty: That’s a good thing. Most people have a hard time coming in contact with their faults, but the Lord, in his compassion, is saying, “Okay, if this is gonna help her finally admit it…”

AM: Yeah. My anxiety is because I shouldn’t have…

Betty: What if, what if, what if…See, your condemner is not at onement with Jesus. That part connects to the dark side. You need to cry out, “Out of the depths I cry unto thee, Oh Lord. Oh Lord hear my voice.”(Psalm 130:1) That comes up a lot with you. So, there must be a part of you, deep down, that is soaked in condemnation. Your adult needs to take Jesus downstairs to that door, and get that door open. Because you’re creating a Hell for yourself, while I’m sitting here in a strange, unusual peace reading about the war that people are saying is on the edge. And I’m like, “Betty, this is not normal.” But it’s like this crazy stuff is going on in this world, and there’s not a thing you and I can do to stop it. But we can at least get where truth is eternal and connect with that, rather than connect with the darkness that would make us suffer even more. Would your adult want to go downstairs with Jesus? Because Jesus is your only hope to help you get out of this mess. Do you want to put it in prayer first to direct your energy? 

AM: “Lord Jesus,…”

Betty: Go into tongues, and find out what you’re saying about that prayer.

AM: It’s in God’s hands. I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I didn’t…

Betty: I know, but see, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” See what you did just then? You went into a “what if.” 

AM: Well, I guess it’s because I was feeling really hesitant. 

Betty: But if you can only lock the door and come to realize when you’re going into a “what if” and say, “Stop it. I’m not going there.” Because that’s what needs to be broken, namely the cooperation in the torture chamber. It’s like, God always takes whatever happens, and turns it to the good.

AM: I should have…

Betty: Somehow or another I feel you’re torturing yourself. See, you’re out in the “what ifs.” There’s this part of you that almost keeps wanting to find the bad news. I would ask the Lord for compassion with your feelings to get stronger, so you can withstand their onslaught. See, I look upon the distressful, the negative kind of feelings as something I can give to Jesus and keep standing on the rock of faith. So, it’s a chance to be faithful by not acting on the negative feelings. It’s rather acting on your faith. So, eventually when you do this, I think you’ll grow stronger in handling your feelings. Because I used to be in a lot of depression, too. But I really wonder if that wasn’t part of how the Lord helped me to get out of giving them so much power.