AM: One way you can guard against pride is by seeing your faults.

Betty: I look at my life and all of my faults and that helps me. Even the fact that I’m fat helps me.  Because nobody likes to be obese, And you’ll always have these people who for some reason want to remind you that you’re obese. So, it really helps. Because you’re advertising to everyone, “Look at me. I don’t have it all together. I’m obese.” So, you’re in your own humiliation as you walk around.

AM: I have mine with my emotions. We both wear our weaknesses out there.

Betty: It’s like you ask the Lord to help you and if over a period of years He doesn’t, it tells me, “Maybe you need this or you might become proud.” I told one spiritual director that I kept asking the Lord to help me get some control over my eating. He looked at me and said, “Did it ever dawn on you that if He gave that to you, you might be as proud as Hell?” Look what happened to Adam and Eve because of pride. I don’t want to get as proud as Hell. So, I’d rather be obese as being proud is not a good choice.

AM: We both have our things, but it’s good.

Betty: I save people a lot of problems. They just look at me, and they automatically have the judgment that they can condemn me with. And that solves that. So, I make it easy for people. 

AM: Yours is especially hard, because people feel like they can do it.

Betty: Yeah, they have permission to be superior, because they’re not obese.

AM: You’ve had to feel that heavy judgment and condemnation coming from people. That’s hard.

Betty: But one consolation is St. Thomas Aquinas and St Dominic were heavy. There were people who were heavy who were close to God. So, it’s like, “Well, that didn’t keep them back from giving themselves entirely to God. And they wouldn’t be considered canonized saints if the church judged that in their obesity they did not say yes to God.” It is a consolation, but it is also convenient for people to be able to judge and look down on you. They feel more superior. I think, “Well gee, I do a good job of making people feel better about themselves. They think, “Look how nice a thing I am. I’m better than her. I thank you Lord that I’m not like that fat slob over there.” 

AM: No, I don’t like that. They don’t get to see your heart and who you are. It’s like they miss out on a treasure, because they make that judgment. 

Betty: It’s what they needed. 

AM: People have to experience you and not just throw a judgment. You have had that cross of rejection all these years. There were a lot of heavy judgments on you, so you’ve really had to learn. Because you’re battling that always.

Betty: Yeah, it does. But it’s good, because it’s a danger to be proud.

Is there a weakness that you’re struggling with and asking God to lift?  Did it ever dawn on you that if God gave that to you, you might be as proud as heck?