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Betty: I was hearing the part of you that is the Perfectionist is the part that has a need for revenge. I think that might be coming out of generational crap which does not belong in a follower of Christ. The follower of Christ is meant to move toward mercy, not revenge. So, you might want to take your adult with Jesus and go downstairs, because the mean Perfectionist is the part that has the revenge. And you saw that in X. At times that part would come out, and you didn’t like it. You were afraid of it. But it’s really important to ask the Lord to help you get freed of that, so it doesn’t unconsciously come out on people.  

AM: Which might be why I’m hooking with this lady, because she has a similar part. 

Betty: Yeah I think she does. And that’s why if you pray, not just for yourself, but pray for her that she will open the doors so Jesus can release her as well.   

AM:  “So Lord, I do give you this part that’s vengeful and punishing like X…” 

Betty: Ask the Lord to show you what door is open inside of you that gets caught up in that. 

AM: Judgment is the open door. 

Betty: Yeah, that’s exactly what I got, too. So, when you and I judge another, we are deliberately opening a door that Satan likes to work in. It’s the one in Luke 18:11 who said, “I thank you God that I am not like the rest of men.” Remember the one who was standing there thinking he was praying and he was really bragging? So, that part can be quite arrogant. And who knows, perhaps that lady has an unconscious part of herself like that. And that could be why she came so hard on those little guys.

AM: I can also get reactive not wanting Y to ask this teacher any questions. When someone’s unsafe like that with a hot and cold personality, it’s like walking on eggshells. 

Betty: And with that kind of attitude, you can keep the problem going on and on. Because unconsciously, the other starts picking up your judgment of them and you’re, in part, causing the thing to continue.  

AM: How do you handle somebody that’s erratic? 

Betty: You have a forgiving heart and you pray for them. That’s what Jesus said. 

AM: My temptation is to go into, “Okay, make sure you don’t do anything. Give them their space. Keep that little bubble around them so that you don’t tick them off. 

Betty: Yep. See, you’re keeping a negative judgment on them. So, you’re keeping hooked into them with your judgment. I don’t think it’s as smart as praying for them for healing, praying for the two of you to get healed. So that the energy coming from you will be positive, not judgmental. 

AM: But you could walk into their trap again, too, when you have somebody that’s so reactive.  In my mind, I’m like, “You’re not safe because I don’t know who I’m going to get.” So, as soon as I get somebody’s shadow, then I put my caution up. This person isn’t safe. It’s a superficial relationship. That’s where I go. Don’t get into controversy with this person, because they’re not safe. That’s how I respond. 

Betty: Yeah, but okay, that is spoken as the secular atheist would speak. But think of this. You know the Lord Jesus, and he is about healing and forgiveness. So, shouldn’t you go the Christian path? I’m not saying that the wisdom that you have of unstable people should be ignored. No, that’s wisdom. But on the other hand, you want to move toward healing, because you believe in the healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ. So, I would say rather than waste a lot of time and energy bringing up a negative case, rather go into prayer. It’s like, “Lord, put your light around me, so I don’t fall into traps. Stop me from making negative judgments, whereby I can get hooked into whatever is going on here. Please come to my aid. Help me to treat her with love and respect.” Do you see the difference? The one is more positive focused, believing in the power of Jesus to heal and looking for something good to come out of the encounter. The other is fatalistic. She’s already a hopeless case. I would think the Christian approach might be the better one to pray. 

AM: Yeah, otherwise you feel that charge inside and you’re still being impacted by the person. There are two women I sometimes see who were cruel. In my mind, I pray, “Lord, bless them. Heal them. But I can feel a charge that there’s this division there. 

Betty: Pray a simple thing like, “Lord, teach me. Help be alert here.”