AM: X goes through that same process of anger and then she calms down. It’s a pattern…

Betty: Why don’t you talk to the Lord about that? Ask to be set free quicker, to recognize what’s going on and not to be blinded. Part of that is a strategy for getting what you want before you repent; we play games 

AM: So, we want to get what we want first? 

Betty: Yeah. And then kind of repent afterwards, but with, “Not your will, but your will and my will be done.” And that’s not the way it works. But it’s a clever game that we play. The whole thing is avoiding the death of our will. What you were accusing Y of… It’s easy for you to see him in idolatry. But what we have to do is ask the Lord to help you get the grace to catch yourself when you’re in idolatry. And that way you won’t lose control.  

Work on what’s coming up. Really work that through. See, when we’re drawn to judge the other, it’s really inside of us. And as we allow the Lord to heal us, then we’re not as tempted to do it to the other. Does that makes sense? And that then puts the responsibility back on the shoulders of the one you’re judging to change. Because they don’t have to defend themselves against your judgment. They just need to take care of their own junk.