Below is from a spiritual direction session where I was choosing to be miserable and not care after I had an injury that set me back. My Aunt Betty’s words to me are in red below:
Can you afford the luxury of not caring and not taking responsibility for where you are now? You can make up your mind to be miserable, if that’s what you want to do. Being miserable is a decision that you’re choosing, but I don’t know anybody who really enjoys being miserable. Most people choose to be happy, regardless of what happens to them. It’s a decision.
Some people make choices. I watch them. They make choices to be miserable. They want to blame it on something or someone. In your case, you say it’s because your feet hurt. It’s still a choice you’re making to focus in on your feet and be miserable about it. Is that what you want to do? You can choose to actually know pain is there, but don’t focus into it. Then it doesn’t hurt as much. Do you know that? Make some decisions here. Otherwise, the Perfectionist is still going to take over your life and make you miserable. Maybe the Lord is really calling you to look at your life, and make some decisions.
You have a lack of attention of where you put your focus. That is really your responsibility here. So, you need to get your adult working with that part of yourself. Tell yourself, I can do this with my children, so I can do it with myself. You would tell your children, “You have to set boundaries for yourself. You have to have discipline in your life. You’ve got to make a choice for that. It’s not going to happen by waiting for somebody else to do it, because there’s nobody else to do it.” Now, I can hear you saying that to them. Why don’t you say it to yourself? Do you follow what I’m saying to you? There’s a time when you have to eat your own words. We all can tell somebody else. We need to say, “Hey Betty. This is you this time. Wake up. You’re the one whose being irresponsible. You’re the one who is not setting boundaries on yourself.” Now, it’s okay to cry out to the Lord for help to do it. Pray, “Lord, I lack discipline here. And yeah, there is this part in me who seems to enjoy being miserable.” One thing I noticed about these miserable people. They don’t have many friends. People don’t want to be around them. They’re a drag. It’s a choice they make.