Below are my Aunt Betty’s words to me last year.
People who are always right are dangerous. Cutting people off doesn’t solve problems. It’s not a solution. It can stop a lot of good stuff that God is trying to do, when we try to save ourselves. It’s not obedience, but rather we are trying to save ourselves from feeling pain.
Forgive yourself. Pray in tongues and let your anger out. A lot of it is rage you have at yourself. You have it directed at X, but deep down, you gave X permission to do all this stuff. You can rage all you want, but until you accept your personal responsibility for the fact that you agreed to this stuff, you’re not really facing the fullness of reality here.
Do you find it easier to blame others than to blame yourself, because you’re perfect? Ask the Lord to help you treat that part of you with respect instead of despising it and judging it. “Lord, help me accept myself and my own imperfections, and not be so demanding.” You’re hitting more into where the real problem is, and then you will be less fixated into X’s problems. You need to be healed independently of X. The perfectionist wants to say it’s X. No, both of you need healing.
You learn things in your head that don’t always go into the depths of your heart. The only way you get it into the depths of your heart is you really have to hear the scriptures in your heart, and then they become wisdom. Otherwise, it’s useful knowledge that you may or may not catch onto the next time you run into it.
“If you make my Word your home, you will learn the truth and the truth will set you free.” This is the way we’re meant to hear the Word of God. The eastern sense of hearing is different from the western sense of hearing. To the eastern person, you chew on it until it comes out in your life. But the western people say, “Oh ya, I know that.” We stop listening when it’s only in the head, and we haven’t heard it. We haven’t heard it, until it comes out in our life. We say “I know that,” but it’s only in the head.
As we mature in the Lord, we hear things in a whole different dimension. We’re freer to hear things more deeply. When we are praying in the Divine Will, as the Lord gets our hearts open, then we really hear it. There’s a rhythm on how to hear the Word of God. As you claim your strength, X can claim her strength. As you get healed, X will get freer. As we get cleaned up, it makes it easier for others to see their stuff.